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  • Writer's pictureMairead Loughman

How To Be Instantly More Attractive to Ladies

From being a professional Matchmaker and successfully matching over 6,000 people on dates all over Ireland since 2016, I know what works when it comes to dating, what doesn't work and and the simple yet powerful changes that you can make when talking to an attractive lady that will instantly make you more attractive.

So what do the ladies that come to me for matchmaking want when looking for a partner? Mairead Loughman, Matchmaker, Dating Specialist, the host of No.1 podcast "Would Like to Meet" and the founder of Love HQ, Ireland's No. 1 professional matchmaking service shares how you can be instantly more attractive to ladies.

1. Confidence

Women are attracted to confidence. Confidence and charisma in a man often go hand in hand, being comfortable in all social settings and not being afraid to stand up for what they believe in or know to be true.

A confident man will be upfront and honest if he is feeling a connection but equally, will be honest if he is not feeling a connection and ladies want to know where they stand and how you feel about them. If you like a lady, ask them out.

Confidence is not a characteristic we are born with and can be developed, especially dating confidence and I work with many of my male and female clients to be more confident in life and dating.

2. Be Completely Comfortable in Yourself

I recently had Gerry Hussey, Olympic Performance Coach as a guest on my podcast and we discussed how everything in our lives stems from how we feel about ourselves and how comfortable we are in who we are as a person.

Stop comparing yourself to others, stop caring about what other people think, stop using cars or props to create an image. Just be yourself and you will appear authentic and you will seem more attractive to ladies.

3. The Art of Great Conversation

In Ireland, most of us are great at chit chat and the "gift of the gab" however, chatting about the weather will not build a connection with a lady.

Ask them questions about themselves and be genuinely interested in their reply. Give them your full attention.

Questions like what they enjoy doing, what makes them happy etc.

People are more at ease when they are talking about things that make them happy. Remember, you should listen more than you are talking so be genuinely interested in what they are saying but remember, it is also important to make an effort to chat. (Listen to my podcast with Eoghan Tomas McDermott, MD of The Communications Clinic for more tips).

4. Kindness

Be kind. Kindness is the one characteristic that every one of my clients seeks in a partner whether male or female. Show kindness in your actions and your words.


After kindness, the most sought characteristic for female clients in a man is a good sense of humour. Sense of humour is not as important to men seeking a female but to ladies, it is very important. Be fun and have fun when speaking with a potential partner. Keep the date and conversation light hearted and fun.

6. Dress To Impress

As much as you love a lady with great style, a lady adores a guy with great style.

First impressions are hugely important so look your very best.

For men I am sending on dates for Matchmaking, I recommend smart leather shoes, good well fitting jeans and a smart ironed shirt, I recommend long sleeve shirts and roll up the sleeves. Follow my Instagram for lots of great style tipos for men.

7. Speak To Her Like She Is a Lady

For many men, they work with other men, they play sports with other men and may have grown up with brothers. Remember, to speak to your love interest as a lady and not one of the lads. Pay her compliments, not slag her outfit. No lady has ever said she would like to meet a sarcastic guy so remember, you would like to meet a lady so speak to her like one. Watch any bad language too.

8. Create Balance in Your Life

We often hear about work/life balance but really what is important is work/life/love balance. If there is something holding you back from having someone special in your life, perhaps it is time to make some changes.

How often have you had a great win in work or in life, only to return to an empty house with no one to share the win with.

Would you like a great lady in your life? Only you are stopping this from happening. Make space in your life and create balance.

9. Be a Man of your Word

A good man doesn't just make promises, he lives up to his word.

If you take her number, text her. If you ask her out, offer suggestions don't say "Well what do you want to do?" make the date special, even if it is just a coffee, go somewhere special.

Do not ask someone out unless you are definitely going to meet up. If you agree a time and place, be there. Do not be a flake. If you do not wish to meet her again, tell her you enjoyed her company and wish her well. Always do the right thing.

10. Be a Gentleman of Greatness

You are 50% of your potential relationship so, if you want a great lady, you should want to be a great man. None of the 6,000 single men and women that have come to me for matchmaking have ever said, I would like a basic relationship. You want a great relationship with a great lady and this starts with you.

Be direct. Respect yourself and others. Commit to your word. Set your goals. Work on your work/life/love balance. Have good manners. Do the right thing. Be in control and accountable of yourself and your actions. Be a gentleman.

About Love HQ, Ireland's No.1 Dating Specialists

Mairead Loughman, Professional Matchmaker has successfully matched over 6,000 clients on dates all over Ireland since 2016 with hundreds of marriages, engagements, babies and millions of kisses along the way.

Mairead meets all of her clients in person in her office on Merrion Square, Dublin or in her consultation hubs in Cork, Limerick, Kilkenny, Galway and Mullingar.

She listens carefully to you about what you are looking for in a partner and gets to know you before arranging all of your dates.

Mairead has clients from all walks of life, business owners, professionals and private and public sector employees and from ages 24-83 all over Ireland.

From there, Mairead arranges your dates for you and follows up with you after each of your dates to see how you got on.

Love HQ's service is 100% confidential with our clients integrity, safety and fun being our client focus.

If you would like more information or to book a consultation visit

If you enjoyed Mairead's tips on How to be Instantly More Attractive to Women, listen to her podcast "Would Like to Meet" on Spotify, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Each episode, Mairead has special guests - Flirting and Seduction Coach from Channel 4, Gerry Hussey- Performance Coach, Eoghan Tomas McDermott - MD of The Communications Clinic and many more.

Mairead in Love HQ offices, Dublin 2.

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