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  • Writer's pictureMairead Loughman

What is a successful date?

We’ve all had our fair share of good and bad dates, but it’s those successful ones that leave us wanting more.

You may be asking, what makes a successful date?

A successful date is one where you have fun and find a connection. But oftentimes, this is easier said than done.

We’re going to go over some expert tips to ensure that your next date is successful.

1. Be genuinely interested in your date.

Have you ever been on one of those dates where the other person seemed super disinterested?

These dates can feel very demotivating and awkward, so a good way to avoid them is by showing that you’re genuinely interested in your date.

But how?

Well, the best way to show interest is through your actions, because as the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words.

According to communication expert Eoghan Tomás McDermott, nonverbal communication is the key to a good date. Only 7% of what people remember are your words. What really sticks with them is your physicality and your tone.

When it comes to showing that you’re interested in your date, Eoghan recommends that you should:

  • Make eye contact, but not too much. If you’re not making eye contact your date won’t think you’re interested in them, but if you make too much, it may seem creepy, so find a balance.

  • Consider the way you express emotion. The mood of what you’re saying should match up with your words. This will help you avoid coming off insincere or disinterested.

  • Be a good listener (we will get to this point in a moment).

Being open with your date will show that you’re interested in them. Be mindful of your body language, expression and tone, as this will help you avoid having a bad date.

2. Genuinely listen to what your date has to say.

Listening is one of the most important factors when it comes to a successful date.

However, lots of people struggle to properly listen. In fact, lots of dates go sour due to the other person pretending to listen, when really, they’re just waiting for their turn to speak.

So, when it comes to dating, it’s important to listen because you genuinely want to understand where the other person is coming from, rather than just listening to respond.

To do this, actually engage with what your date is saying. Ask them questions based on what they’ve said, and build the conversation from there.

Not only will this make your date more intriguing, but it will show that you’re interested in what they have to say.

According to author Dale Carnegie, to be interesting, you have to be interested. So, tune out of any distractions and give your next date your undivided attention.

3. Master the art of conversation

Now that we’ve spoken about how to listen, we’re going to go over the art of conversation.

According to experts, when you have a conversation with someone, you should listen 60% of the time, and speak 40% of the time.

But what should I talk about during my 40% of the conversation?

When it comes to conversation, you should strike a balance between:

Talking about yourself

Let your date know a bit about who you are. Tell them about your life, and share stories relating to your past and present.

Asking questions

Ask questions to show that you’re interested in your date, but make sure not to interrogate them. See if you can ask things that will allow your date to reveal something about themselves.

Talking about topics that your date is interested in

Dale Carnegie states that “the royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about things he or she treasures most”, making this last point particularly important.

Talk about the subjects that interest your date. If you know nothing about a certain topic, let your date educate you. And if you share mutual interests, you'll be able to bounce off each other.

On a successful date, the conversation flows. If you’re stuck for things to talk about, ask open ended questions, and really listen to what your date is saying. If you’re truly engaged, you’ll always find something to talk about.

There are many ways to ensure that your next date is a successful one. Once you’ve figured out how to talk, listen and show interest, the rest of your date should flow naturally. But remember, dating should be fun.

You don’t have to stick to any plan or formula. Sometimes, things will go the way you expect them to, and other times, life will go off script. Stay present, be engaged, and see where the date takes you.

Do you want to ace your next date? If you want to learn how to be a better communicator, check out Mairead’s Would Like to Meet episode with communication expert Eoghan Tomás McDermott.

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